Get Real!

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="127015b3.jpg"> <div> <B>Get Real!</B><B>  |  </B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://help4self.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://help4self.net"><B>Home</B></A></FONT></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=155 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="id109.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Anxiety Disorder">Anxiety Disorder</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Best Prescription for Depression ">Best Prescription for Depression    </A></div> <div> <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Communication that Helps">Communication that Helps</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Depression Flu">Depression Flu</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Depression Talk Therapy">Depression & Talk Therapy</A></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Get Real!</B></div> <div> <A HREF="id59.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hypnosis">Hypnosis</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Insomnia">Insomnia</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Is Prozac Magic?">Is Prozac Magic?</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Managed Costs and Mangled Care">Managed Costs and Mangled Care</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id61.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nutty Ideas">Nutty Ideas</A></div> <div> <A HREF="ocd_in_a_poem.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="OCD in a Poem">OCD in a Poem</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sleepy?">Sleepy?</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Staying In Love">Staying In Love</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id75.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Stay Married for the Kids?">Stay Married for the Kids?</A></div> <div> <A HREF="id70.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Suicide: Unanswered Questions">Suicide: Unanswered Questions</A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Get Real!</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>"In the end, we cannot hope to free ourselves from the stranglehold of grievance unless we relinquish the most destructive grievance of all---the one we hold against ourselves.  Grievance always cuts two ways:  Every grudge against the bad other for not treating me right or loving me properly is accompanied by a sense of bad self--a grievance against myself for not being good enough or worthy of that love.  Bad other and bad self are two sides of the same coin.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Indeed, there would be no hatred of others without hatred of self.  The urge to blame others arises only out of feeling bad about ourselves, which originally developed out of not feeling truly seen or honored by other people.  </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Unfortunately, the difficulty you have in loving and accepting yourself affect you even more profoundly than anyone else's lack of love"</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>---Welwood</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>"A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die.  Our beloved is the same.  He is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower.  If you imprison him in a tin can, he will die.  Yet many people do just that.  They rob their loved one of his liberty, until he can no longer be himself.  They live to satisfy themselves and use their loved one to help them fulfill that.  That is not loving; it is destroying.  You say you love him, but if you do not understand his aspirations, his needs, his difficulties, he is in a prison called love.  True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom of your beloved."</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>---Thich Nhat Hanh</I></div> <bR> <div>  </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>